A/N: I wrote this as a weird pseudo-one-shot about Fallout: New Vegas. Basically, in the game, there’s a companion the player can choose to travel with named Boone. His wife, Carla, was sold to the game’s ‘villains’ by a citizen of the town, Novac, they lived in. After travelling to the villains’ camp, Boone finds and mercy kills Carla before she can be put to … Continue reading FICTION: The Last Thing She Never Saw
A/N: This is a piece from my ‘Writing the Self’ portfolio. My lecturer asked us to write a story from our lives, and rewrite it in a traditional fairytale format. I thought long and hard about the parts of my life that warrant a fairytale retelling, and my wedding was the most obvious choice. So, here you go. As is usually the case when Brits … Continue reading Fairytale Wedding
A/N: I submitted this piece to a literary journal but that was over a year ago now. I think it’s safe to say it’s never going to be published, and I can probably post it here instead. It’s about the best and worst parts of being bisexual before you realise you’re bisexual. Enjoy 🙂 How do I explain to you Aditi? Everybody wanted Aditi. I … Continue reading In Stone and Sand
After the famed yet failed super-glued-pringles-can attempt of 2017, you have, with the help of your dad who yearns for his two-decade-since-deceased “glory days” in a French field wherein he tried a space cake for the first and last time, successfully snuck your own cakes of the cosmos into a family-friendly, indie-rock festival. Well done you. Yesterday, your step-mother caught you smoking a cigarette and … Continue reading SX1000
1 If Diana was still here, I can bet she’d be Rowling’s foil, and much to the chagrin of her relations, would praise Harry’s not wanting to be royal. I bet that she’d love Megan, they’d sit in her gardens at Kensington, so Diana could speak freely of luscious black hair and dine with her daughter on salmon. I always wanted a girl, she’d … Continue reading POETRY: Sometimes I Unearth Dead Blondes and Carve them into Idols
You’ve got to hand it to him; what was once a name known only to hipsters in Camden is now world-famous. Whether you know him as your Monday morning motivation music or as a cringey, gingey sellout, Sheeran needs no introduction. But, for artists like Sheeran who make it big-time, the first album is always the most interesting. The rawest, plainest indicator of the style … Continue reading A Guide to Happy Music: Ed Sheeran’s ‘+’
Somewhere between 89-97% of internet users will not go past the first page of results when using a search engine. I’ve written that statistic in its various forms more times than I can morally count, in a multitude of different, and yet all too similar, articles preaching new and improved ways to get your small business’s blog to the top of the results. Perfecting your … Continue reading SEO and the Death of the Internet
What was happening to his head? This was something never before experienced in the history of all time. He cried out, for that was the only logical course of action – to thrash and writhe and scream like a little baby, so new of this earth and helpless. But the sound that he could make! He could certainly make it, a loud and grinding and … Continue reading FICTION: The Angel Who Went to Earth
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to welcome you tonight, to one of the greatest nights in human history. Boy am I going to beat out that sea-scraping speech…I’m kidding, of course. All our work here at BioBeta is equally important. Some of it is just a little more exciting. I have to start out with the necessary bits, so please disconnect your … Continue reading FICTION: Simulated Nature Shit Machine
(You know the drill, all names have been changed.) Today, I’d like to tell you the story of my first job. My 15 year old self described the role once as ‘the maitre’d in a greasy spoon’. That about sums up my hatefully optimistic attitude to the whole thing. I still can’t work out whether it was incredibly gruelling work, or whether I was just … Continue reading The Castle on the Hill
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